this is why i’m in love to hate.
i can’t believe you stand there. while i’m running circles in my head trying to figure you out. and i am not a girl that believes she should wait.
i want to be in love, but i’ll leave it, if it won’t take.
and there are those girls who spell the kissing noises out on their myspace. the girls who claim to hate “yo drama” and how “all those stupid bitches are so fake.”
and i wanna tell them all to get lives and give up on other people. and maybe they should put all that negative energy into something more productive like killing people, or drowning cats.
i once went to puma and bought a thirty dollar hat.
a boy stole that hat and promised to give it back.
as long as i’d make out with him. maybe it set me on all the wrong track.
it’s been a long time coming, but it’s just too easy. and all boys are pricks.
but it’s just so easy, because it ain’t so hard to manipulate someone who thinks with a dick.
it’s not so hard to turn tricks.
but you know, it be nice to be asked out to a nice resturant where i wouldn’t have to pay, or be expected to give him head.
it be nice to be asked out at all. drunken house parties and bars surrounded by sluts with condoms already between their thighs. nice bed. nice bed.
are those sheets 1000 count, egyptian cotton?
whats my name? and he’s already forgotten.
but is this my fault? ending up here… i could always say no.
my mother told me that it is important to love yourself. and that confidence will show.
i’m not insecure, i think i just gave up. and thats where i’m wrong.
someone i thought was a friend gave me my first sexual experience when i was blackout drunk, puking all over myself, and somehow i was told i was wrong. that i don’t belong.
so now you know. and now i can’t remember the last time someone wanted to talk to me, without asking me when we were gonna make out.
like my life is set in stone. i can’t see the path, but everyone else can. can you make this out?
and there are those who still love me, because they thought they could help me. and when i say fuck you, they mock me. i never claimed to be helpless.
i listen to music and think inside myself. and sometimes i have a soul, other times, i’m alone and lifeless… just loveless.
your pressure on my neck- i’m sure you know what that’s like.
who knows how to put pressure on my lips, and take this darkness and make it light?

“can you please leave all your clothes on,
and let me sweat this out.
i can only see you naked…
cause thats all your good for.”