Daily Archive

i’ve had a lot of unfinished business. i’d like to think that if i died today on the way to work, i would become a ghost and haunt people. there would be some lucky people out there, getting to be haunted by me.

yesterday my english teacher told me that i should be published. that i have a lot of knowledge and experience in writing well. he’s a little off, because where i write a lot, and have experience, i do not write well. maybe he knows something that i’m not particularly inclined to know. i wish i knew what others know to be true about me. he told me i’d get an A in the class, which is awesome, because i’m always late and i miss class all together, about half the time.

people tell me i’m pretty, but if i don’t hear it everyday, i start to doubt it. i’m such an insecure, little twenty-two year old fuck.

all i want is to be left alone, but i hate when people actually do. don’t call me, because i don’t want to have to call you back. but if you don’t call me, you must not love me, and therefore i suck. i have two contradicting personalities, actually i might have seven. i’m not bi-polar, i have dissociative identity disorder.

i ran the majority of the chicago marathon, and when i say majority i mean they cancelled it in the middle, so i had to walk six miles, or i’d be arrested, or looked down upon, or something. now i’m going to run the majority of the san francisco marathon. and when i say majority, i mean when we run over the golden gate bridge i’m going to throw myself in the water.

…then become a ghost and haunt people.

i used to have this severe power of being able to make anyone hate me just by talking to me. it was strange, nowadays, i assume thats not the case, but it could be. you never know. i often times talk to people like they are dumber than i, mostly because they are. i know a lot about everything, and if i don’t know something, i’ll google it, or pretend i know and make up shit. my friend dana hated this about me, and always used to ask, “how do you know this? is this a fact?” and she hated my answers of, “it should be a fact,” or “i just know it, because it makes sense,” or “i may not really know, but it’s probably right.”

i’d haunt dana by whispering sweet random nothing facts in her ear at night. she’d probably think it was witchcraft, cause she lives in honduras. oh, wait that’s haiti. whatever, i don’t know much about honduras. she’s got me on that one. when i see her, i ask her how it feels to sleep under grass and dirt huts and swat flies from her face. she looks at me like i’m mental. i guess she has a maid, even. i don’t understand why, if you lived in a mud hut, you’d actually need a maid.

i have a membership to lifetime fitness. it’s fun. i watch a lot of fox news, law and order, and the biggest loser all through closed captions. i’ve never watched so much tv in my entire life. it gives new meaning to being a couch potato. i don’t watch tv when i’m doing nothing. when i do nothing, i really do nothing.

one day, after i do all this school stuff, and live my life being poor, i’m going to make a lot of money. it’s just obvious. i will one day be able to support myself and a bunch of other people. it’s nice to think about, but for my twenties it will not be the case… i’m going have to serve/bartend at some lame old bottom of the barrel resturant chain in hoffman estates. i might get a job as a starbucks barista soon. i’d save about 10,000 a year on coffee. no joke. i’m sick.

when i die, you will know me by the starbucks cup in my right hand, and the witty ghostly dialogue coming from my see-through mouth. hopefully i get to keep my pretty, dark-brown, flowing tresses. i love you all.

love, me.