if you sleep in til after your hangover is gone, you feel much better the rest of the day. and don’t worry about missing out by sleeping til four. the day didn’t miss out on you, you sad, pathetic alcoholic.

i’m not a democrat or a republican, conservative or liberal. raise taxes, i don’t care. i’m just not voting for barack obama because he’s black.

i don’t want to sound racist, but john mccain used to be a pretty hot white boy.

i’d rather be dead then fat. so i guess you could say that i’d rather look at dead people then fat people. call me hitler.

i also despise really skinny framed girls with love handles. i also despise my proportioned incorrectly body. go figure.

i think it would be more beneficial for me to take all my earnings, and everyone else’s, and throw it in the ocean, as some sort of titanic style ending to the downfall of the economy, then to let mexico have it.

all men are gay, but i didn’t mean gay as in homosexual, i meant gay as in retarded.

i’m going to “take a shower” with the rest of my fat friends now.