she.

she who had mud on her hands. has blood on hers now. she who had the tiniest of hands. they are all grown now. now with the pain in her bruised wrists, and the tension that tingles up her arms, she is alone. and they said she had such strong arms [...]

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maybe alyssa, maybe.

it’s 3am i must be lonely:
what you doing, alyssa?
sleeping. why are you calling?
why not?
because you called me two days ago telling me you hate me.
yes i do hate you. i hate you. i’m just calling to make sure you didn’t make me look bad.
i didn’t. don’t talk to me, i’m hanging up.
no. if you [...]

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a conversation.

Can’t you call? Take it back?
Tell me you love me. That’s all I ask.
Too much to do. Too much to say.
I’m not gonna lie. I don’t feel that way.
What will it take to make you see?
I’ve never wanted anything. But you’re special to me.
I don’t want to see you. I can’t stand your face.
You can’t [...]

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first glances, second chances.

we can learn from the mistakes we made in high school, and if we can’t learn, then maybe we should go back to high school and make them there. we are too important to make those stupid mistakes again in real life.
when i was in highschool i went out with this boy. [...]

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sober.

“And I don’t know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing’s real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me
Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it’s never really over”
yeah i [...]

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the story.

“You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.”
–Irene C. Kassorla
i spend a lot of time hating a girl. well, hating three girls. because these three girls torture me.
in [...]

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when i write.

i don’t write for anyone. only myself.
normally my thoughts are never directed at one person or situation. i mix everything up, so that its more abstract then anything.
the love of my life always refers to anyone. not someone in particular.
i dont write because i know a certain someone will read it, and it’s a [...]

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all the other things in life…

…are nothing i care about.
walking beside me. asking for my opinion. strong face. strong lines. something more than what you see. and you ask for my reason. my reason for breathing. i tell you it’s nothing. i’m just floating. you smile and say you agree. what are you doing with life? [...]

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ain’t no sunshine when i’m gone.

so i read in seventeen magazine, back when i was around fifteen, that when you feel depressed due to your life sucking, write out the problems you are having, and then write down reasons why they can also be good. so for everyone, right now, this is me writing myself happy:
i just starting taking [...]

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the american dream.

whatever it is, i don’t know.
during the day, my dad sits in the next room talking in his blackberry on conference calls. i tell him to get an iphone, so i can play with it. he doesn’t hear me. he is not a multi-tasker. my dad works hard for his [...]

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