i like to sing and dance. i’ve been told i suck at those things. but i don’t care, i do it anyway, in front of everyone. i don’t think you should stop doing things just cause you are told you suck at them. i hate pants. don’t you hate pants? i wear skirts cause i like to twirl, and pretend like i am a ballerina or an ice skater. i can’t ice skate. i grip onto the wall and kiss the floor a lot. but i can ice skate on any ground that is not ice, without any skates on. i should be an interpretive dancer. i love music. most kinds. but not the sucky kind. so if you play music in a sucky band, i don’t really want to hear it. most of my family does music. i pretend to do music. i pretend to know what i am talking about. i like getting my picture taken. i hate hugs. but i love to kiss. i love espresso. coffee. diet coke. my favorite place is starbucks. because nothing can go wrong there. it’s safe. i like to be safe. guys don’t make me feel safe. i hate to cuddle. i get claustrophobic. i always wonder how long i have to lay there before i can get up and leave. i don’t really have boyfriends… ever. because, really, i change my mind too much, and i’d hate to break their heart for no reason, later on, down the road. i’d also hate to get my heart broken. life is too hard as it is. i love to write. and read. and go to barnes and noble, and do those things. i like to talk with my favorite people. i don’t like to talk to people i hate. unless i am allowed to put them in their place. i like to be alone. on my own. to think. to dance. to sing. to drink my coffee and smoke my cigarette. that’s where you will find me. and that might be everything you need to know about me.

i once heard a song. it went like this:

‘coffee and cigarettes.’
by augustana

wake up, take your pills dear, i know this time of year ain’t
right for you…
you came with a sickness, shot down back in christmas,
kamikaze rain…
and i’m sure you’ve lost that weight again,
i’m sure the pills keeping pouring in,
like smoke that falls, it’s caving into you…
so put me on a plane, and fly me to anywhere…with you…

one night…when you woke up, you bled…till you spoke up,
oh this ain’t pretty dear,
with clocks, watch the time go…till spring, when the sun can
finally be free…
and i’m sure you’ve lost that weight again,
i’m sure the pills keeping pouring in,
we’ll scream at night, to make it go away…
so put me on a plane, and fly me to anywhere…with you…