Category Archive

 (so i’m 22 in college, and this is my first paper to receive a grade.   i got an A-.  no big deal.  even though i am certain that it sucks, and like everything i write, lacks organization and any real point.  whatever. i got an A- and it’s double spaced… haha)

It’s ten to four.  The TV in the bar is blasting headline news, as men, women and wait staff, watch the helicopters fly past the screen.  There has been another school shooting, but this one is closer to home, in fact, only an hour away- Northern Illinois University, in Dekalb.  The shooter has already died, and the rest of the families and news crew are picking up the pieces.  Brittany, a slender, young bartender, walks through the double doors, smelling of smoke, and not looking anyone in the eye.  Her sister is in Cole hall, the same place that the earlier shootings took place.  Is she okay to work? It does not matter.  People are in need of their corporate, mid-grade Italian food on the second busiest day of the year.  It’s Valentines Day.

I stand up at the podium, fifteen feet from the front doors.  I look like a Catholic priest, dressed in all black, stationed behind a wall that looks more like a preacher stand then anything else.  The phone is ringing off the hook with last minute reservations, and I will say that it brings me great joy and pleasure to tell every last person that we are currently “all booked.”  “Better luck next year with the reservations,” Valentines Day is always on February fourteenth, It’s not like Hallmark didn’t give you fair warning.

I hang up the phone for the hundred and twentieth time tonight, when a young man walks up to me, and like a shy little boy, asking for seconds on chocolate cake, asks, “Is there a wait for a table?” I stare him in his pleasant, blue eyes, “Currently no, would you care to be seated?”  He smiles and says, “In a second, I’ve got to get my girlfriend.”  I sigh. Obviously he has a girlfriend.  Obviously, for the next three hours the only men to walk into this joint will be with a girl.  The average number of people per party will be two. And in about twenty minutes we will be on an hour wait.  It’s Valentines Day.

I would imagine that suburban, middle-class men and women in their twenties would choose Romano’s Macaroni Grill as a great Italian dinner, but not those white collar folks. But today, everyone looks classy, or looks like they tried, at least.  The cutest couples to be seen are the unfortunate seventeen year olds, who don’t know how to walk in tall shoes, and don’t know the proper etiquette, like holding the door open for the lady when she walks in. But I think in my head that they are mainly cute because they assume that this restaurant is nice.  And they would never assume that you don’t have to wear more than jeans and a t-shirt when attending an establishment like ours.   

Behind me people are eating.  In front of me, they are waiting; they are sitting on benches designed for this occurrence.  The wait for tables tonight is long; not too many couples will walk out and go somewhere else when quoted an hour for a table.  People respect their food, and will wait for it. It’s also cold outside and the majority of women are wearing skirts.  Once you’ve stopped in, you don’t really want to go back outside.  I watch the hand-holding, the smiling, and the communication that goes on between the different couples.  In my head I make bets, I bet myself how long each couple has been together.  I always win.

Sometimes between seating tables and answering the phone, I look into the bar and watch the news again.  People have died for no reason.  Then I am angry that people would choose to ignore this, and still go out on the town, and still take advantage of such an over-processed holiday. Not that the world should stop, but it does make me wonder whether or not it would be ethical for it to.  But now, an elderly couple, dressed up like it took them hours, come walking through the door, and I remember that maybe all of this is just a symbol of love.  And there is nothing wrong with an excuse to get dressed up, even if it is for a dining experience at a corporate restaurant on a hallmark holiday.  It takes a brave soul, to sit back and enjoy love, when the world around them is falling apart.

i wish i could document every moment that i spend in school. it’s a weird experience- i like school… a lot. i want to spend every waking moment in the halls of that place. which is strange. really queer. because, i don’t like school. i don’t. i hate it. my whole life i’ve hated it. school hurt my feelings. waking up. going to class. taking tests. learning stuff that doesn’t matter. ever.

my favorite thing to say to teachers, as most intelligent, lazy people, like myself, would agree on, was always, “why do i have to learn this? of all the people in the school, why do you think that i care at all? cause i don’t. this is lame and doesn’t matter in my future career as a server/bartender.” then i would get mad and ask for the hall pass and sit in the bathroom, and do my hair, and stare at my face.

not a lot has changed in four years.

except the fact that i love school now… i love listening to my ipod on my breaks. i love learning about supply and demand. i love watching videos from the 1980’s. granted i still go into the bathroom and stare at my face, but even that is more fun then it’s ever been.

i only have five or six more years to go… which will take me to about twenty-seven years old. ahhh. i hate school… it lasts so long.

i’m quitting now while i still can.

“today’s been a career day,
futures made and fortunes lost as I’m standing in the lobby,
I’m waiting for the elevator to take me away up to nine or ten, maybe eleven
the sound of sirens fading as she whispers in my ear she’s saying,
its too late to wish success so get undressed and
please just come to bed
cause I’m the last real thing you’ve got
you’re cursed by all ambitious thoughts
is that all you’ve got as for you,
you spin a story like a spider spins a web
see that’s a metaphor, no wait, a simile
I’m still learning but I think I’m getting better
oh if I’m not tortured how are you ever going to relate?
I’ve been condemned by those I love,
wishing me the worst as I’m trying my best
but she’s the last real thing I’ve got
I’m cursed by all ambitious thoughts
is that all you’ve got
love close your eyes and cover, cover your ears,
for the end is near but the beginning is here
in with the outro and out with the old
I’m gonna tie all the loose ends i once pulled
in with the outro and out with the old,
preparing for failure, from what we’ve been told
in with the outro and out with the old
with nothing to offer, so nothings been sold
in with the outro and out with the old
forgive me and give me
one more chance to fold
in with the outro and out with the old
there’s nothing to lose when there’s nothing to hold
we’ll be together in the morning”
–the format