Category Archive

so i read in seventeen magazine, back when i was around fifteen, that when you feel depressed due to your life sucking, write out the problems you are having, and then write down reasons why they can also be good. so for everyone, right now, this is me writing myself happy:

i just starting taking these pills that are currently making me loopy, insane, itchy, anxious, and depressed… but they have also greatly increased the size of my boobs!!

okay that really has to stop there, i just start complaining and never stop. i need starbucks. too bad i have no money to get me any. i hate my life. sorry shouldn’t complain, mainly because well there are starving people in africa who never even heard of starbucks… <—that, my friend, is my superego talking, and right now it’s fighting with my id that wants to go steal somebody’s starbucks, to satisfy my need. my ego, the only rational part of my being, is telling both to calm down and stop fighting, and now i am anxiety ridden. thank you freud.

freud honey, sometimes a cigar, is just a cigar.

so my parents told me that smart people with good genes and money need to start creating more kids, so that we don’t end up ruled by retarded people. discuss. use information like black panthers, illegal aliens, trailer trash, mormons, and anyone from alabama or kentucky in your conversation and it will prove some point.

ooooh.

not having money makes you skinny, because you cant buy food. but apparently so does having too much money (the olsen twins, miss lohan, etc). i wish i was getting skinny cause i had too much money. that would be an issue worth having.

i think i want a skunk mink. a live, skunk mink.

i got to hold a lobster yesterday and give it a sharpie to squeeze. that was fun, until i saw it brutally murdered right in front of my eyes- i watched someone kill it, by cutting it lengthwise, right down the middle. good thing i didn’t have sex with the guy. it would have been harder to let go.

a lame sort of feeling.
green plastic trees.
smile when your wasted.
you didn’t fall in love with me.
made a mistake at church.
now i’m in hell, burning.

one year might mean a lifetime.
we were friends first.
you pretended i was pretty.
that blessing was your curse.
we all move on.
pity calls are the worst.

somewhere in madison.
nothing like a keg.
i guess you all were innocent.
roofies don’t make you beg.
you weren’t the one i wanted.
but you didn’t have to pull my leg.

october’s over, hallelujah.
took a bite this hallow’s eve.
the banana tasted like a clove.
and smiled so naive.
gave the campus tour.
first boyfriend that i’d leave.

don’t take what isn’t yours.
i say this as you smile.
spent the next day making sense.
you were crying all the while.
tell your friends i’m a liar.
i was incoherent, it made you vile.

crazy by dave himself.
i felt bad, and asked for your name.
you could have lied.
i’ve forgotten just the same.
i was sober.
you were lame.

new york came to madison.
my 21st, come and play.
it wasn’t on my time.
whatever you do he can’t stay.
the mets in the world series.
the used will lose today.

hey there mr. california.
i’ve got me some blues.
rosey, save it for a picture.
this boy’s got me used.
smile for the camera.
pirates in madtown are amused.

happy birthday my dear friend.
we were worth the second glance.
told me i was something special.
lets pretend to dance.
see you later honey.
but we’ll take another chance.

a jolly green giant.
not a bad story for one night.
black lights and a 9.4.
gonna make you feel alright.
get some, hold my hat.
for you was new, i was trite.

you weren’t my type.
but you were sweet.
i’m sorry honey.
you weren’t gonna sweep me off my feet.
you thought you could make me love.
i’m annoyed now, you little creep.

new york, new years eve.
you’re just a little whore.
why would you say that?
i’ve got a quota to get more.
how bout your friend too?
lets smoke a joint outside the door.

no reason.
he was there.
count to two.
now i can swear.
he wasn’t you.
but he was near.

i knew and let you back in.
maybe we should talk this through.
inxs, beautiful girl.
i think i like you.
daddy, daddy who’s this girl?
i’m confused.

they’re both jealous.
it’s niu. let’s get high.
god you’re stoned.
she says you lie.
they can’t leave us alone.
you’ll choose her, i don’t know why.

first time i fell for you.
i drove you in my car.
i was nervous, and so you weren’t.
we walked into the bar.
i can’t believe you’re touching me.
take me home, we’ll go too far.

meet me at bamboo.
(tonsil) hockey in the backseat.
you were bad with girls.
you stopped coming in to eat.
i didn’t like your body.
but that was pretty neat.

not too single.
but it was better that way.
free shots tonight.
thank god it’s friday.
crush to end it all.
but i couldn’t make you stay.

i don’t want you.
denny’s and whip cream on coffee.
he’s fucking her.
keep me company.
he laughs, “she won’t put out.”
you’re not allowed to call me.

corona and baseball.
nellies and pools.
took you long.
but i thought that was cool.
buy me flowers.
i made you a fool.

pretty like a statue.
i wanted them all to see.
showed you off like money.
but you weren’t good for me.
tried so hard.
but couldn’t escape your immaturity.

a red-headed step-child.
probably a last born.
first attempt at jacey.
had you, you weren’t torn.
i’m lucky if i remember.
you were a child of the corn.

you were simple and nice.
i treated you wrong.
i smiled to kill you.
i might have come on strong.
i was mad at him.
you’d be gone in not too long.

he made me do it.
but it was fun alright.
sold me like a whore.
then took me back that night.
it was cute, you tried to save me.
but i wasn’t putting up a fight.

it wasn’t that funny.
like the rest of the week.
probably should have told you.
that i’d think you weak.
things had to be different.
now we won’t speak.